A Teenager No More

Do you know the pit that forms in your stomach when you realize you’ve just began an entirely new decade of your life? Depending on how old you are, you may have only experienced the eye-widening, heart palpitation-inducing revelation a few times. And a few times is enough. I don’t remember having that mini crisis of existentialism (Who am I? What have I done with my life? In ten years I’ll be __), when I went from 9 to 10, but I do remember having the same shortness of breath when the Colts were in the Super Bowl.

First of all, for birthdays, you always need your game faces. Some people will try to tell you that birthdays are special days of happiness, like it’s all fun and games or something. What horrid, treacherous lies. You have to brace yourselves for the presents, money, cards, attention, love, food, events, movies, and spoiling that will be heaped upon you. Does your birthday fall on a weekend this year? Heaven help you prepare for a three day event.


Game faces are necessary for birthdays.


After kayaking (no, we didn’t die!). BUT Kent’s kayak did run over a dead, floating fish. I heard one of the German tourists go “That ees desguhsting.”) we sped home (read: anything over 15mph in Chicago), cleaned up, made sandwiches, and boarded the train with entirely too many red and blue clad fans to take us to Wrigley.

Not Your Grandma’s Nachos

Have I ever told you folks about the time Kent and Kelly went to their first baseball game? No?

Waay back in the great summer of 2014, two kids that didn’t know they liked each other went to a (basically) hometown baseball game. They were both working full time, but had somehow found a spare evening. They went out for pizza beforehand, but both soon fell victim to a serious condition known as “food coma.” The victim may consume anything from a snack to a feast, and within 10-30 minutes is struck with this debilitating malady. Symptoms include fatigue, loss of interest in everything, grogginess, and occasional crankiness. Determined to enjoy their evening, they strolled to the stadium, took their seats, and settled in for an enjoyable evening of America’s favorite pastime. Alas, it was not meant to be. Both found themselves struggling to keep their eyes open, so they opted for large Mountain Dews from the nearby legal thievery concession stand. A few innings later, they had to go home early due to Kent not feeling well. It turns out he was sick with a fever and was out from work for several days.

And that, folks, is how Kent and Kelly became youngins going on senior citizens.

It’s a good thing we didn’t give up on baseball, because on July 25, in the year of our Lord 2015, at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois, we got those crazy nachos you saw above. The sign said Slugger Nachos were $8, so I thought, “Sure, why not? It’s my birthday weekend. We’re allowed to live a little.” The sign did not say $8. The sign said $18. I told them to keep the nachos and I would just munch on eighteen crisp dollar bills.

That is indeed a helmet. All the way back to Section 126 baseball fans were staring and pointing not at the field, not at the players, but at our Slugger Nachos. Kent felt so special.

We’re not even to my birthday yet! The next morning, Sunday, (okay now we’re at my birthday) we went to church where the worship is always so heartfelt and passionate and…loud. To be honest I wish my birthday fell on a Sunday every year, because there is no cooler way to start your special day than to affirm that it’s not about you at all. Post worship grub was Chipotle, which was essentially the only thing I told Kent I wanted for my birthday.

Because of this important milestone, I decided to document a few lasts as a teenager…

Last Time Straightening Hair Because Petty Concerns About Beauty Don’t Go Away As You Age, They Only Increase…As A Teenager.


Last Time Eating Pasta Salad With A Tablespoon Because That’s the Only Food You Have and That’s the Only Silverware You Have…As A Teenager.

(Read: Last time being a broke college student…as a teenager). 


Last Time Waking Up With the Morning Grumpies…As A Teenager.

I will probably be forever waking up grumpy. Please note the disheveled appearance and popped out nose rings. Mornings are just rough. 


I’m sorry for ending on such a bad picture. Let it do you some good and remind you to start everyday with a smile. (Yeah right).

I’m 20 now, and I don’t have anything left to say except how wonderful of life to wait to give me my favorite birthday until I had a medium to share it with you all.

Before You Go:

I recently found this quote and loved it!

“A birthday is just the first day of another 365 day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.”


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