Called to…What?

{From Bailey, Precariosities’ Director of Content}


Let’s talk about marriage.

Yeah, I know. My second post on Precariosities—actually, my first post as an official employee—and we’re going to get into this love stuff. I just figured it’s fitting, considering our founder is PLANNING HER WEDDING. (As her maid of honor, I’m also planning her wedding, and it’s a blast. On the real.)

Anyway, seriously. I want to talk about marriage. Because it’s not a subject we, as the church, ever seem to come at neutrally. In a conversation I had with my roommate last week, she talked about how marriage is seen one of two ways:

If you’re called to marriage: Why aren’t you married? Get on it.

If you’re called to singleness: Single until the rapture.

If you’re anything like me, I think you’ll agree that we spend so much time trying to decide which of those categories we fall under. My aunt has said before that she knew she was called to marriage, so she spent so much time just waiting for the right guy to ask.

On the opposite end of this marriage spectrum, you have people like the newly betrothed herself. Kelly (pre-Kent, naturally) was hell-bent on being called to singleness. I got a text from her in 6th grade, and she told me she just knew she wouldn’t ever get married. In her mind, the road God had called her to travel did not include a husband.

Both these callings—the call to singleness and the call to marriage—are okay. In fact, they’re good. God works in marvelous ways for all those called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). There is no doubt that God has called us, but sometimes it can be a little hard to figure out what He’s called us to.

I know that I, for one, am often scared of confusing my personal desires with my calling. What if they don’t line up? My RA last year was so passionate about singleness, but at the same time she also admitted that she felt called to marriage. So how are we supposed to know exactly where and how we’ve been called?

The answer? I have absolutely no idea.

BUT I’m going to argue that it doesn’t matter as much as we might think it does.

You see, we place so much emphasis on the black and white that we forget about the shades of gray. Why do we think that we have to either be called to marriage or called to singleness? Those callings exist, but there are thousands of others.

My friend Jenna is called to Africa.

My cousin Bre is called to speech therapy.

My aunt and uncle are called to Muslims.

My friend Sarah-Grace is called to Mexico.

I’m called to words, to writing.

We’re all called to Jesus.

Like I said before, my roommate told me last week that she believes we think way too long and hard about either being called to marriage immediately or singleness forever. But that’s not the full story. Not even close.

Some of us can be called to marriage eventually. This means embracing the vibrancy found in a season of singleness—not necessarily a lifetime of it. We shouldn’t have to know whether we’re called to marriage or singleness in the next twenty years. We should feel confident in where we are, because Jesus loves to meet us there.

Where am I on this playing field? In all honestly, I’m not sure. Right now, I can tell you that I do not feel called to marriage. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it; it doesn’t mean that I don’t envision that for myself someday. I feel called to singleness at this time in my life. That might be for the next month, or year, or even until I graduate from college. But the point is, I’m open to that changing at any given time. I haven’t closed any doors, because I don’t love closing doors on God.

I have struggled through the idea of marriage with countless friends and family members. I wish I knew why it was such a big deal. I wish I knew why I worried about it so much. Everyday I’m learning how to let a little bit more of myself go, and usher a little bit more of Jesus in. This is one of those things. I let go of it weekly, because it somehow manages to find its way back into my grasp.

No one knows the number of their days, the number of their breaths. So how should we be expected to know what those days hold? I rest confidently in the fact that I serve a good God, who has a good plan that will never permit the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22).

What am I called to?

What are any of us called to?

Jesus and people. That’s it. That’s all.

Before You Go

Psalm 55:22

“Cast your burden on the Lord,

   and he will sustain you;

he will never permit

   the righteous to be moved.”

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