When you’re three months away from being married, you start thinking things like…
Am I allowed to be a wife and still have socks from elementary school?
When we live together, where will my Harry Potter paraphernalia go?
If he says the dog isn’t allowed to sleep in the bed with us, does that mean he’s volunteering to take the couch?
If you lose count of how many dress fittings you’ve had, is it too many?
Why are alterations almost as expensive as the original clothing?
Why did I plan to have a wedding in the season that high school girls are looking for prom dresses?
Why do these high school girls look better in their prom dresses than I do in my wedding dress?
Why are their moms fawning over those inappropriate dresses?
How much does a ticket to Vegas cost? Do they do those Elvis Presley weddings daily?
Are we going to default to buying 2% milk (for him) or skim milk (me)? (Answer crucial for Oreo binges).
Is it okay I’m still correcting myself not to say”boyfriend”?
Are you allowed to eat pizza every night when you’re married?
If I put something in my vows about back massages and painting my nails, he still has to say “I do,” right?
Is it illegal to pay your husband to do your homework?
Does bacon count as a main course at receptions?
Am I allowed to sit at the wedding party table and rate people as they dance?
Can I postpone the wedding if I wake up that morning with a giant zit?
Will the guests believe us if we don’t buy any decorations and explain, “It’s what’s in right now” ?
Precisely how does one go about changing their last name? Does the FBI get involved? (The FBI gets involved. I just know it).
Thanks, everyone. That was therapeutic. On a completely unrelated note, if anyone has two plane tickets to Vegas let me know.