When Your Wedding is in 90 Days

When you’re three months away from being married, you start thinking things like…

Am I allowed to be a wife and still have socks from elementary school?

When we live together, where will my Harry Potter paraphernalia go?

If he says the dog isn’t allowed to sleep in the bed with us, does that mean he’s volunteering to take the couch?

If you lose count of how many dress fittings you’ve had, is it too many?

Why are alterations almost as expensive as the original clothing?

Why did I plan to have a wedding in the season that high school girls are looking for prom dresses?

Why do these high school girls look better in their prom dresses than I do in my wedding dress?

Why are their moms fawning over those inappropriate dresses?

cool mom.gif

How much does a ticket to Vegas cost? Do they do those Elvis Presley weddings daily?

Are we going to default to buying 2% milk (for him) or skim milk (me)? (Answer crucial for Oreo binges). 

Is it okay I’m still correcting myself not to say”boyfriend”?


Are you allowed to eat pizza every night when you’re married?

If I put something in my vows about back massages and painting my nails, he still has to say “I do,” right? 

Is it illegal to pay your husband to do your homework? 

Does bacon count as a main course at receptions? 

Am I allowed to sit at the wedding party table and rate people as they dance? 

wedding dancing

Can I postpone the wedding if I wake up that morning with a giant zit? 

Will the guests believe us if we don’t buy any decorations and explain, “It’s what’s in right now” ?

Precisely how does one go about changing their last name? Does the FBI get involved? (The FBI gets involved. I just know it). 


Thanks, everyone. That was therapeutic. On a completely unrelated note, if anyone has two plane tickets to Vegas let me know.





4 thoughts on “When Your Wedding is in 90 Days

  1. 1 nay. exceptions: fluffy, toe
    2 if your husband has his own interesting collection, such as legos, you can combine weird hobbies together in the same room
    3 no
    4 you’ve had three.
    5 …so i dont know everything…
    6-8 you never went to prom. dont worry about it 😉
    9 Elvis is dead so… expensive
    10 soy. nobody wins
    11 It’s okay. but stop it
    12 yes
    13 -.-
    14 Can you really pay your husband to do anything when you have a joint bank account?
    15 yes
    16 as long as you do it with your husband
    17 no
    18 hahahaha. (straight face) I think so
    19 mmhmmm

    love you

    Liked by 1 person

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